Blog post 5/30 - unedited

 Start time: 08:11pm

Sitting on Liido beach for the first time in 2022, it feels like it’s my first time ever. There are some feelings you can’t explain at all, like being hit by the passing wind, or watching the waves dance in between the sea and the shores, or seeing the Somali youth have fun in their land and walk side by side happily in a peaceful environment.

Liido beach is the most beautiful spot in Mogadishu, according to my opinion. Every time I come, part of me comes to life. My beliefs of living and working for my country forever grows anytime I come by these sides. Tonight it’s different, it’s full of youth enjoying their weekends and forget their workloads. There are mothers on the shores selling Shaax and Cambuulo. They sit on small stools building dreams for young students going to universities locally and abroad. The future of Somalia has always been women and it will always be them. 

Above these mothers on the shores are big hotels selling the same shaax over one dollar. Our fathers, the men who forgot this country, are sipping their teas discussing political agendas and siding with different sides, the same people who ruin us on their reigns.

My favorite things here are; seeing the waves and hearing to their sounds. I can’t tell whether they are happy or sad, to be in a country that throws its rubbish on them. I can’t tell whether these waves are arguing over something or agree on everything. I can’t tell whether these waves would take away the dark feelings in me and plant in me hope that I need. 

If I were to talk to the waves, I would tell them to listen to me and not judge. I would tell them to know my worth and give me what I deserve. I would tell them to take me as I am and never let me go. I would tell them to give me the powers  to bless everyone. I would tell them to see the intentions in me and not what I show. I would tell them everything and nothing.

Sometimes I wonder, why would I sink in the sea and the boats always float? Is it that I am made of flesh and they are made of wood? Or is it they adapted to it and I am learning to adapt? How long do I have to take to adapt to it? How long do I take to grab my chances? How long do I take until I am needed? How long do I stand here and clean my feelings for a heart that does not need them? Let me go back to my seat and maybe play a game with the team. I am signing off for now. Goodnight.

End time: 08:32pm

Blog post 4/30 - unedited

 Start time: 10:51pm

I might have had a dark moody day but I am going to write about a milestone that made me the happiest man ever. Let’s get to it, shall we?

It was a wonderful Wednesday, in Mogadishu. This day has been a moment I waited for a very long time. I remember visioning it all the time. I played it in movies and dreams most of the time. It finally came, it was my wedding day. In the past 5 years, I had marriage in my top new year resolutions and today was an end to it. It was that moment I had to tick it off the list.

A week ago, we set the date, invited our families and booked the location. I planned for this day to become the best memory of my life so far and I was about to make it come true. I was marrying a woman I just met 7 months ago but it felt like we knew each other longer than that. We were both ready to take this responsibility and make life as we envisioned. 

I woke up early, did my morning routine as usual. What was to happen today was just a dream and I didn’t want it to ruin my morning routine. I came back home, showered and almost dressed for work. I stopped myself in the mirror, looked into my face deeply just to check if I was dreaming. I got my phone for the first time in the day and called a number. It was saved with just a love emoji. She picked up sounding jubilant and shouted good morning husband to be. I was still surprised, I did not want to believe this dream. I had to make sure this was not only a dream but becoming a reality in hours. We had a little chat and hang up.

Fast forward to lunch time, I was dressed in black as if I was mourning someone. Black will always be my color and I had to wear it on my happiest day too. I wore a black Macawis, a black Armani shirt and a black cimamad with sandals. I hate suits and simple was always my attire. I arrived in the hotel accompanied by my younger sibling. Sat before me, were my dad, her dad and my favorite Sheikh Said Rageah. I was not loving the whole speech and talk agendas and just couldn’t wait to get to the part I say I accept. It reached and I shouted I accept. This was all I have been waiting for. I could not wait for the lunch to be served or pictures to be taken for my plane was waiting. I left the hotel to receive my beautiful wife. 

She wore a white gown and even looked prettier. We left the country holding hands and waving byes to our families. Our honeymoon kicked off.

I was woken up by a loud bang on my door, that was Aabo waking us up for Fajr. I realized it was just a dream.

End time: 11:05pm

Blog post 3/30 - unedited

 Start time: 10:18pm

I have already filled my morning pages today and I could not write again. I journaled in the morning, of course I journallled my thoughts and feelings and I cannot share that. Let me write todays blog now here on my notes app because I could not use my morning pages and which means I can’t tell how many words I will write. 

On this post, I will share one advice that I wanted to hear today and I am sure most of you would want to hear too. This is my advice. Happy reading.

“Stop feeling guilty for speaking up about the things that are bothering you. Someone we are put on a lot that we cannot carry and out of respect, we choose to be silent. Sometimes we are given bigger responsibilities and again wanting to please others, we kill ourselves. Sometimes we are given contracts we don’t deserve and out of the fear of loosing it, we accept disrespecting ourselves. It is ok to say No to what does not grow you. It is ok to lose and throw away to what you don’t deserve. Embrace your worthiness to attract what you are worth. Decline and reject anything below your standards for what you deserve to find you. Stop feeling guilty for losing things, stop regretting about the decisions you took and stop not speaking up for yourself. You are your own champion and you have to guard yourself even stronger. You deserve way better. You deserve respect and appreciations. Don’t be hard on yourself. Speak up for yourself. And finally, stop feeling guilty for speaking up about the things that are bothering you”

Regards

Ismail

End time: 10:26pm

Blog post 2/30 - unedited

 Start time: 9.14pm

This is day 2 of my writing challenge. It is called write from your heart and although I am hating to express at this moment, but I will go through with the challenge and write from my heart.

My head is exploding. It is full with lots of thoughts. Most of it could be sad thoughts but again there are some positive thoughts too. When I couldn’t handle them, I chose to record tonight’s podcast episode and maybe see if that settles me down. I have been locked in a dark room talking for 50mins over the phone doing what I love doing the most, sharing my voice and impacting the community. Sometimes doing what we love settles down our moods. I am kinda cheered up now and getting lots of calls. Sorry guys I won’t be picking up tonight, please understand.

What are you worth? Or let me rephrase, how much are you worth? Do you have an hourly rate of your time? How much is spending or doing 1hr of something worth to you?

For me, my time is worth lots. I know I seem free and doing lots of fun stuff most of the time but I still have untouchable time too. What’s more worth than even my time is my mind. I feel like our mind is the biggest resource we have, bigger and more expensive than lots of golds. Combine these two and you get my point..

Whatever you put your time and mind on has to be worth how much you are worth. If you expect my time and my ideas and thoughts, it has to be worth how much I make it worth. It has to be what I deserve, how much input I am adding, how much efforts I am bringing, how much ideas I am generating and how much influence I am having. If I don’t bring any of these; inputs, efforts, ideas, thoughts, influence and impact, then I might be worth zero to you. But when I bring all these, and you price me way lower than my worth, then that’s disrespect. I hope this sums up my thoughts tonight and I still have 150 more words to write, let me try to make it something sweet lol.

As I was writing this, 3 other guys were in my room and one of them asked, what kind of people does Somalia need? A Burundian friend answered pointing at me. I stopped writing happy to receive such a compliment but then I asked him why me? And this was his reply, it definitely made my night bright and I hope you learn and take the wisdom from it.

Hassan said, “ he knows what he is doing, he doesn’t sleep without finishing his work. He has a target and unless he reaches, his day does not end. Somalia needs more of him” 

I never imagined how small words could brighten and change feelings in a second. I was hating these three guys being in the room, I wanted my loneliness but I had to finish my podcast and blog. I got words which still makes me happy this second. And finally, I wrote over 500 words again, for a second consecutive day. Thank you for bearing with me as I throw out my feelings which might not be what you wanted to hear. If you read till here, I appreciate you. Goodnight.

End time: 9:38pm

Blog Post 1/30-unedited

 

Start time: 8.45pm

I am reading one of my favorite people’s blogs and I came across an interesting article and idea. Ali Abdaal mentioned something on public journals and morning pages. What also came up here was chatting to Mathew Dicks, the author of Storyworthy and an expert in storytelling. He shared how he has been blogging everyday since 2003 and this gave me lots of ideas.

First I downloaded morning pages and I started sharing my first post on 8.45pm on a Sunday night. I am planning to write 500 words daily and also writing a blog post everyday. I don’t know if I will get that energy or drive to continue but the only way to Find out is by trying. Let me keep writing this post and maybe make it online without edits or delays. Coming up tonight is my first blog post pals, but what should I write on. Let me use Mathew’s example and generate my thoughts.

And here is where I start…..

I have been thinking about management and innovation lately. I have been thinking about design thinking and making projects come to life. I have been thinking about podcasts and rebranding. I have been having lots of doubts on many issues ongoing in my life right now. Let’s talk about all this, I don’t feel like they should be private anymore, let’s share what’s on my mind just like how much Facebook wants us to. 

What’s on your mind? 

My first job in Mogadishu is becoming a manager. I don’t only manage few of my friends but I am managing big plans for a big community. I have lots of ideas to impact our community and what a better time than now to turn all my thoughts into concrete actions. I am looking forward to turning different lights to a community that lived in the darkness. I know they only expect a small light to light their path but they definitely deserve different shades of lights to brighten their lives. Our community deserves its own people to think of them but not eat them out. I am blessed to have crossed this path now because I know together with my team, we will lit a whole world for our community. 

I might have had dreams of becoming a construction manager but then, right after I became one, I felt like I should be a community leader. I felt the happiness and the satisfaction it came with, I don’t see the time on the field or the less money I benefit, all I see is impacting one life everyday. Being a leader is not only enjoying the fame part, but it’s sweating in the game part and producing real results.

I feel like I have lots more to share and my words are coming to end. I will stop here for today and I will definitely write more words tomorrow Inshaalah.

Writing these, my friend is playing with his camera taking pictures beside me and I will definitely use of those images as a thumbnail for this. Thank you for giving me your time to read this and if you are still reading it, please stop now Lol, like it and if you enjoyed, share it on your pages. Thank you and be blessed always.

End time: 9.03pm

2021 Recap

 

2021 Recap

I started 2021 celebrating on the balcony of my apartment in Nairobi, shouting out my lungs and welcoming 2021 in style. I posted on my status a little short resolution saying “2021 a year of more traveling, a year of more service, a year to fall in love and a year full of blessings. To a year of growth and learning Inshaalah”

365 days later, looking back and reflecting, I feel like I had a big year. I am not one to feel pride in myself but the past 12 months has treated me well and taught me a lot.

My year started slow. I just got back from visiting family in Somalia and I was supposed to be in a great mood. There was nothing like that. January started with lots of hopes and goals but in the middle, career problems, loneliness, obstacles, depression  and pain hit me bad. I dealt with it as best as I could and made books my closest friends. I left social media and spent January either on bed sleeping or reading books in my little balcony on the 5th floor of an apartment in Pangani facing the sunset and sipping my homemade coffee. My routine was simple and always the same, bed or books. The digital detox helped and I ended January shooting a YouTube video to explain my slump and provide solutions to anyone facing the same issues.

February came with its own fun and it brought me back to social media, with a little focus knowing what I wanted to do. I shot another 4 videos for YouTube, numerous others for Tiktok and increased my reading to double taking my tally to 13 books in 2 months. I spoke on 2 stages and my hopes for 2021 became brighter. My February came to a close with a workshop on values and purpose.

March was all about more MCeeing, reading, speaking, traveling and serving the community. It started with travelling to Nakuru and Kericho and spending time in the green. I MCeed an event, spoke and mentored a boarding secondary school and took part in Ajarso Afuri- a program that serves the Eastleigh community by providing them with a month worth foodstuff for Ramadan.

My April kicked off with a public speaking workshop and trained 20 young youth. The impact this training had on a young girl was enormous. She came to the training not able to utter a word infront of others and today she confidentally speaks on stages. This is what she texted me two months ago “Assalam caleykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh, I hope you're doing good. On Sunday I'll be on stage for the 3rd time Alhamdulillah. I am very very happy and I feel like I am now living the life I have denied myself for 22 years of my life. Before I could not stand infront of even two unknown pple and talk. I was dealing with self esteem issues and zero confidence and this limited me from doing what a lot of people do but I remember the first time I met you at awjamac I didn't know that the workshop you held would impact me greatly and this is another day of appreciation ,Thank you so much And May Allah bless you every day”

The rest of April was enjoying the Ramadan Barakah, doing food deliveries and working harder on my spiritual side. My friends and I were able to conduct two Ramadan competitions for youth on general education and rewarded them at the end. It has always been fun for me organising and bringing together many youth.

On 7th of May, I have achieved one of my biggest goals of the year and launched my podcast. It is called Ismile Inspires show and it is available on every podcasting platform. We will have video series too on youtube starting this thursday 6th January. I also challenged myself to do a 30 day vlogs on my youtube channel and this has been teaching me discipline and consistency. We hit 1000 subscribers on youtube and May ended well.

June is the most important month of the year for me personally. People are born twice, once when they come to the world and also when they find themselves. This month happens to combine both my birthdays and I call it Birth and Reflect month. The tradition for the past 3 years was to take a break from 5th June, to pause, reflect and plan for the coming year. This year, I travelled to a nearby town, disconnected my line, went offline and took a week of solititude. I created new goals and plan for 12 months to come and I will reflect on this on June 2022 Inshaalah.

June also gave me more opportunities and I MCeed two other events, spoke on stages and did a workshop on finding your passion. My retreat week gave me more clarity and focus and I was working on a high speed again.

July was a low month again, I felt too bad about my state and I wanted a stop. From June’s reflection, my biggest problem was being dependent and I gave myself 3 month for that to stop. Having this feeling, I decided to move to family and spend sometime with them atleast to smile again. I travelled with family to Mombasa for vacation and came back to organise and MC Ambassador Americo’s book launch. These two have cheered me up and blessed my July.

August started with a mentorship talk to young boys followed by 3 other speaking engagements in schools and book launches. Apart from the talks, I journalled alot this month and looked for solutions to my dependency status. I had to stop being fed by family and be responsible for myself.

Lots of thoughts and journalling welcomed my September and I reached a random decision to move to Mogadishu. I saw a bright light at the end of the tunnel but I was scared to fail in Mogadishu. I had to move and try rather than stay on a comfortable zone and be dependent on my sister. I took a hard decision and arrived in Mogadishu on 19th of September. I did not have family or lots of friends apart from my online friends and a friend welcomed me to his home. Mogadishu welcomed me so perfectly and changed lots of online friends to real life friends and made new ones. The last two weeks of September in Mogadishu was the most amazing days of the whole year so far. Now I feel like it has been a correct decision moving here and I am loving it everyday.

October was all about meeting more friends, seeing new places, writing more blogs and doing two contracts on communication.

November was a busy month of work and fun. I started giving a 10 min talk at Simad University. I also had an online workshop with an organisation in the UK for youth all around the world. My topic was on finding your passion and it went well.

The stand out moment of November was my work trip to Uganda. I have been away from 17th to 28th of November and spent some beautiful days in Kampala, Nairobi and Garissa.

December had two big events planned and I was part of both. First up was the Mogadishu book fair where I did storytelling for school children representing Awjama. Next up was Mogadishu Tech Summit and I was part of the communication team that made the conference trend for 3 days on every social media platform. It was followed by my first workshop in Mogadishu on Personal Development that attracted over 100 youth for two days. 

I end my December on a retreat and reflection week and I travelled with a team to WarSheikh to spend 5 days here. So far, it has been very effective and taught me a lot and I hope I will be doing vlogs here too. 

Indeed, 2021 has been a year of travelling more, doing more service for the community, falling in love that later broke lol and I attracted lots of blessing which I am deeply grateful for. It has been a year full of growth and learning and it has led me to a different new city to live in, make new friends and get to work here. I read 100 books and I am so proud of achieving that goal.

If I were to rate 2021, I will give it a 8/10 and I am so happy with my progress.

I hope and pray for even a better 2022 and my biggest goals are to have an impact on 22 people, make 22k savings and marry Inshaalah. It will be a year of more impact, income and building a new family.

Coversation With The Waves

 

I had a conversation with the waves today and asked why there is rubbish in its doors (the shore)

The waves Said, “ I am the care takers of the sea, I clean it to give a living to its inhabitants. My job is to take out the rubbish from inside the sea, push it out to the shores and let mankind do the rest. The problem I have with my neighbors ( the mankind) is that they want to ignore their job ( collecting the rubbish) and come to our house to enjoy swimming on us and leave us for their warm shelters. All I ever ask of them is to pay back to us, after every swim, collect the rubbish and throw it away. That way we would be interdependent on each other and succeed together to have a beautiful and clean beach”

My little encounter with the waves today reminds us that we all need each other. Animals take in Oxygen and give out carbon dioxide while plants take in that and in return give us oxygen. Human beings give plants to animals and in return get food, animals eat plants to get us food and in return give the plants their shit to act as nutrients for plants to grow. Everything and everyone on this planet need each other. As much as we need the sea to swim and have fun, it needs us to collect the rubbish and clean it too.

If Everyone does what they are supposed to do, everything will be as we need it to be. Simple Maths.

#TeamSeas